Teen Living Gifts

Abandon all hope ye who enter here,

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

"Three more years of high school."

The Brothers Grime

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"He's gone goth"

PROBLEM AREAS

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

Fishbowl rebellion.

How did you get your parents to send you to Costa Rica this summer, Ingrid? By almost flunking Spanish. That's dire. Hardly! I'll party and practice my accent. Next year�remind me to bring my French grade down. Si!

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

"Looking cool in a car takes practice."

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

"I'll be glad when this is over and Sarah can be herself again."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

Teenage Angst.

'Dad, can I borrow the club tonight?'

This year I'm a different person. I'm starting school as the new, cooler me. Way to go, Twig! Diner. Everyone will notice the change. It feels kind of risky. I've never worn my hair down!

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'Don't forget to put gas in the car and the mower.'

'This book thing, Mum, where do I plug it in?'

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

"Hey, look - Mom left us an internal memo."

The tulip knew it was in trouble when called by its scientific name.