Teen Angst Gifts

"Woke up late this afternoon, I've got the teenage blues…"

That's when I decided why should I care

'Sure he's cute, smart and athletic. But my parents would approve of him and that wouldn't work for me.'

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

Marilyn Manson Fan.

'But Mom, can't I just skip puberty and go straight to mid-life crisis?'

"Sure I'm Alfred the Great now, but in high school I couldn't get a date."

'Teachers' Dreams.' 'Young man, either you remove your hand from under her sweater or I will remove it your arm.'

Gotta babysit. Too bad! Tap tap. The worst part is the first! Subduing little monsters? Tap tap. No

"Nicole, Kyle, would you guys burn my yearbook?"

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

"Can Hilary come out to abstain from having sex?"

"This zit is growing way out of control!"

Girl to other re: Drama Class: 'Is that where all the girls gossip and fight over guys?'

'Dad, will you tell me about the prat falls of dating?'

'Don't try and act cool by saying it's the blood of the undead, we both know it's acne.'

"I kept dropping my phone and cracking the screen. So, my parents bought me a thicker cover."

"You're about to enter a semi-autonomous region of this house."

"That cross is not divine. It's a symbol of how out of control things can get when a teenager lies about how she got pregnant."

Zit: Pus based life-form whose main habitat is the teenage face. Normally peaceable, but he can react violently if threatened.

The Teenage Mantra: You don't understand...

Teenager sitting at desk with in/out tray which read:'I want' and 'Not fair'

'Billy Cargill doesn't have any facebook friends. He's a loner.'

I've had "health," ok, dad? I know what "you know what" can lead to. STDs. AIDs. Emotional scars that can take years to heal. Umm�Anything else. What else is there?

"Of course your parents embarrass you. That's what parents are for."

"Baldo, I'm sorry! Tia Carmen's friend Maria left this book here by accident. Silly me, I thought it was yours! Ha ha ha!"

"Look dude, if you like a girl...you gotta move fast!"

"I don't understand how all the girls grew taller over the summer!"

'You have a zit where?'

Rebel without a pause...and another ting I'm not going to put up with blah!blah!blah!

'I don't have a bad attitude! I can't help it if everything sucks!'

"Don't mess with him - he's a hard bastard. . . !"

'Relax, I'm not pregnant, I just ate a bag of candy worrying about our relationship.'