Adolescent Angst Gifts

'It's not fair!'

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

Sex Education Class: "Smirking or non smirking?"

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"Don't worry, son.. everyone goes through the awkward teenage years."

Marilyn Manson Fan.

'But Mom, can't I just skip puberty and go straight to mid-life crisis?'

"Nicole, Kyle, would you guys burn my yearbook?"

'Teachers' Dreams.' 'Young man, either you remove your hand from under her sweater or I will remove it your arm.'

"Sure I'm Alfred the Great now, but in high school I couldn't get a date."

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

Girl to other re: Drama Class: 'Is that where all the girls gossip and fight over guys?'

"I'll kiss you later. Catch! I meant catch you later!"

'Dad, will you tell me about the prat falls of dating?'

'Don't try and act cool by saying it's the blood of the undead, we both know it's acne.'

Teenager sitting at desk with in/out tray which read:'I want' and 'Not fair'

"Look dude, if you like a girl...you gotta move fast!"

"That growth spurt I was waiting for didn't quite turn out the way I'd hoped."

"I don't understand how all the girls grew taller over the summer!"

'Billy Cargill doesn't have any facebook friends. He's a loner.'

"Woke up late this afternoon, I've got the teenage blues…"

That's when I decided why should I care

'Sure he's cute, smart and athletic. But my parents would approve of him and that wouldn't work for me.'

"Don't mess with him - he's a hard bastard. . . !"

'You have a zit where?'

Rebel without a pause...and another ting I'm not going to put up with blah!blah!blah!

"Now that I've quit hating girls, I 've got pimples."

"Cheer up. Your dad had so many pimples in high school, we played connect-the-dots on his yearbook photo."

My mom keeps trying to talk to me about sex. So awkward! Poor you. She's totally afraid I'm going to "get into trouble"! Funny. My mom doesn't worry at all. She's so cool. I'm not allowed to date until I pass the bar exam.

"Thanks for straightening out his teeth.Now, can you do anything about his hunch?'

'Whoa, you look so cool right now.'

"Here comes the cutest girl in school! Quick! Act like you're not my parents!"

'Hello Childline... my parents just don't rock.'

There's only one way to test out the sex-ed theories. Uh-oh. I need a date with Ryan Beardsley. Twig? He's not on the curriculum. True, but

Goth.