Technology Worker Gifts

"The new guy says he's a data wrangler."

"The Baby Delivery Sector has to move with the times, Stork."

To be honest, dorkboy, I would be deeply saddened to see you lose your job to a robot. You would? Of course. You know why I come here every day to drink the swill you refer to as chamomile tea? It's because I'm a human being, and human beings needs the company of other human beings. And despite living a vapid life full of fakebook relationships, you, Rudy Park, are a human being ... or at a least a reasonable facsimile thereof. Plus, it's hard to make a robot weep like a baby. You almost never m

"I remember when I used to be 'cutting edge'!"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

Outer Space Outsourcing

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"In my old job we were encouraged to run fast and break things."

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

'You're hired, but remember, you can be replaced by a machine...believe me.'

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

There will be no economics report...our economics reporter got caught in the tech carnage...

'No no Mr. Peters, you are not being outsourced. You are being virtualised in 'the cloud'.'

"All my gadgets are old. I'd like some new gadgets."

Someday

"Let me through, please. I know what the letters C.P.R. stand for."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

"What the hell sort of convenient new feature is this?"

'I got a job working for Google Earth.'

Jenkins! Why is it everything in this office is voice-activated except you?

"Ruddy AI. Bad enough to be replaced by a computer, never mind a COFFEE MAKER."

I'd rather be phishing.

Screensaver says project compiling.

Elon Musk upset that 'X'is still referred to as 'Twitteer'.

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."

"I just Googled you and found out your resume is fake!"

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

Mental To-Do List

Cyberwarfare