It Worker Gifts

'My job was replaced by an app. What's more humiliating, it was a free app.'

"I've got tech support. I'm on hold for tech support translator."

"The technology's in place, now all we have to do is misuse it."

"My desk is full. Call maintenance. I need a fresh one."

"I uploaded my empathy to the cloud."

"Can you make it purr when I pet it?"

Screensaver says project compiling.

'I suppose it's nostalgia, I just long for one piece of old fashioned snailmail.'

At least they can't stop the news on the web!

'My new keyboard? Thank you, sir, it's very useful!'

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

Switch it off and switch it on again

"I'm not sure we've QUITE got the hang of this video conferencing thing."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Where your mind & battle are los

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"My email is down... talk to me."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'What sort of mission statement is that?'