Technology In Medicine Fan Gifts

'Doctors are all booked up. Nurse is busy. The best I can do is offer to type your symptoms into Google.'

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'We don't have a cure for your ailment but there is an appropriate app available.'

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

Surgery Instructions.

"Trepanning for gold"

"I'm not feeling well. I'm picking up a few things at my pharmacy."

'What kind of side effects do you enjoy?'

"Take two of these and call my answering service in the morning."

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'

Vaccine race

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

"The good news is your weight and cholesterol are stable. The bad news is the research has changed."

'Science will never find a cure for the common cold, That's all the job security I need,'

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

A scared man who is about to have surgery performed by a robot.

'It says right here, sir, three times as much iron as other supplements.'

'No, there is no such thing as generic doctors!'

'in the computer model the only side effect was a dry mouth.'

"Looks like you're already familiar with the side effects."

"What are you going in there for?... Can't you just soak them in a glass of bleach?"

'Yes, this is a bad time. I'm operating on a patient 4,500 miles away.'

Long before Louis Pasteur's epic work, pioneer researcher Boris Zamochovich...

Scalpel.