Technical Support Representative Gifts

'Hello, technical support? Which one is the 'any key'?'

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

'Have you considered buying a new computer?'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Gadget geek.

"I do tech support for the cloud."

Computer Expert

Geek fairies

Terry had a computer bug.

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

Torn-Off Mouse.

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

If Disney was a software company

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Hardware and software

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?