Technical Support Worker Gifts

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Gadget geek.

Computer Expert

"I do tech support for the cloud."

Geek fairies

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

If Disney was a software company

Terry had a computer bug.

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

Torn-Off Mouse.

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Hardware and software

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

Man feeding his computer money.

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."