Techie Trinket Lover Pillows

"Grandpa, how old are you in human years?"

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

"Siri, find oxygen."

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

The Smartass Phone

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

"I've just been reincarnated, anyone here know what iphone we're up to?"

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

'I love to see you all so busy!'

"My self-driving car is wintering in Florida."

Unicorn in the Woods

"It's the new self-driving model."

Book Worm

New hyper-realistic Star Trek

"These kids and their shellfies..."

I'd rather be phishing.

Four Stages of Communication: Tell, Bell, Cell, Hell.

"I love these fitness bracelets! it's like having a tamagotchi, but the tamagotchi is you."

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

"He added the computer, TV and cable box. Apparently, sand wasn't enough."

Telephone Box

"We're too late - the zombie apocalypse has beaten us to this planet."

"Mom's left her phone here. We'll have to walk to the kitchen to tell her to get us dinner."

"Memory? It has too much memory. Still holds a grudge."

"Scan it for signs of life."

May 2004: Crack of 4:00 AM / May 2020: Crack of 4:00 PM

'Looks like Bob has taken his new e-commerce position a bit too seriously!'

'This watch goes up to fifty-nine seconds a minute!'

"I don't know why you have to upgrade your mobile every five minutes."