Techie With A Sweet Tooth Pillows

'I'll do those spreadsheets later - I've just worked out how to download jaffa cakes.'

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Ice Cream Dreams.

'You said the computer was coming between us. So I put your name as my password.'

Jewish Geometry

Secret sweetie drawer...

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

'Lucky for us, there's a sucker born every minute.'

Unicorn in the Woods

"I wanted crisps but this assessed my body mass index and gave me an apple ..."

'I was able to neutralize the stress hormone using chocolate.'

'Your diet is so bad that your arteries are all blocked, but the angioplasty should open things up and get the maple syrup flowing again.'

"So I said to myself...who am I to deny this calling?"

"Greetings! We come in peace and seek only a meaningful relationship."

"Hey! Wait a minute! We can't reach the doorbells!"

"Grandpa, how old are you in human years?"

'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'

Large man uses 'Fat Nav' to lead him to large Christmas pudding.

'Mom, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't touch the cookies!'

"They've checked the DNA and it's gingerbread."

"The good news is a major company has noticed our website. The bad news is they're accusing us of copyright infringement."

Orchestra playing to working man.

'Keep an eye out for the cookie police.'

"I'm watching my sugar intake."

'It's worth a try. I heard dad say there are thousands of cookies in this computer!'

"No, drones will never replace us because they lack our hunting instinct and majestic bearing."

When was the last time you cleaned this keyboard?

"No leads yet, but we're still hoping for a break in the case"