Tech Trivia Aficionado Gifts

Wireless Plans. Cellphone. No, "rollover minutes" has nothing to do with hitting the snooze alarm and going back to sleep.

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Hiding the electronics.

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"You are still here."

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

Book Worm

Giggle.

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Robot Robber

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

Brown only photocopier sales.

"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

AI Summit

'I don't know what it is. I think it's some kind of old-fashioned cell phone.'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

"What - the customer complaints come in nonstop and the software doesn't work? Pheew... I'm relieved. I feared that something unusual happened today."

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

Telephone Box

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.

"Oh, Johnny. I feel like I'm beginning to know you almost as well as Facebook does!"

Personnel. You did high-tech work in this railroad job? It was a part-time position --- I was a semi-conductor.

Woman finds something in her soup.

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

"By using the accelerated graphics port with the m202 riser we can implement a data trawl without the 8ot network blah,blah cascading through the network..."

"Are we sure this is how we get our workloads into the cloud?"

'Hello? IT? Yes, there's been a breach in security and I'm concerned about unauthorised access to my personal details.'

'You're insecure because your data is unsecured.'