Tech Humor Enthusiast Gifts

The Dilemma of Computer Support Terminology vs. Layman Terminology: 'Okay, I've put it in the recycle bin, now what?'

Santa accepts cookies on a website.

'Oops! Turn down the power on this lazer thing, will you.'

'I know you have a technical background, but here we call them caskets, not 'dropdown boxes.'

'Hello? IT? Yes, there's been a breach in security and I'm concerned about unauthorised access to my personal details.'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

"So either it's about to rain a lot or this is what they call 'big data'."

"Are we sure this is how we get our workloads into the cloud?"

How to beat a computer

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

"Frankly, you seem a little fleshy for our team."

"'Page Not Found' always sounds a little 'careless'. Maybe we could replace it with 'Page Temporarily Engaged in Promoting Alternative Client Focused Services'."

'Are you sure you want to quit?'

"Heard the rumours about internet companies aggressively poaching our people?"

'I guess that wasn't the 'HELP' key.'

"I've downloaded your cumulative wisdom and there's still 99.9% free disk space."

"So with our new Service Level Agreements our help desk is offering a much faster surly and sarcastic response."

Robot Robber

"I didn't see any compliance issues."

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

'Hello, Tech Support? I hit 'escape' and I'm still here!'

'Excuse me. Hello? .... I'd like to exit this program now.'

"The upside of being boring is the Russians won't ever want my email."

'Ewe Tube'

"No, that's not an old-school pop up ad. That's a hot air balloon."

"It's for computer viruses."

"That's a classic example of fashion malware."

'Unfortunately, our wireless network is also printerless and computerless.'

'I think it's a virus...it's running a temperature.'

'Do you prefer his 'Unix period' or his 'Windows period'?'

'W-R-O-N-G Voltagggeeee for a vintage machine like myself.'

'It ate my credit card and my tie!'

'Tyler, I'm afraid you've been autocorrected in favor of Taylor.'

'I don't know how to tell you this, but your girlfriend is a shared file.'