Tech Humor Fan Gifts

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

"The computer's acting funny."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"I just got a text from our smart garage door. It says: Oops, my bad."

Will remember your passwords $15.

"No need to set out traps, I'm leaving. You don't have Wi-Fi in this dump."

'I didn't expect my own computer to stab me in the back.'

"I'd consider getting a new flash drive. They do make them small these days."

"Would you like to try a byte?"

"Be careful - faecal recognition cameras!"

"What - the customer complaints come in nonstop and the software doesn't work? Pheew... I'm relieved. I feared that something unusual happened today."

"You're breaking up!"

'Of course you have a ringing in your head - you're a phone!'

'Could I check my email?'

'The error message said I made an illegal entry, but I never suspected it was anything this serious!'

'Floppy Disk Horror Movie.'

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

CAPTCHA'd

"Talk nerdy to me."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"You are still here."

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

'Mom, I need a push.'

"He's been using the new virtual reality data viewer and climbing bar graphs..."

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

Robot Robber