Techie Humor Fan Gifts

Please Help With My Algorithm

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"You are still here."

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

HUAWEI 5G

"I gave up on the wheel and designed this. You'll thank me when electricity is invented."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'The problem seems to be in the memory bank.'

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

'Mom, I need a push.'

Robot Robber

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

"I can't stand this new hardware. It's much harder than the old hardware."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

AI Summit

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

Idiot's Guide to Programming a VCR.

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.