Techie Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"V.C.R's programmed"

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

Exit Code

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"You are still here."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

HUAWEI 5G

"I gave up on the wheel and designed this. You'll thank me when electricity is invented."

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

'The problem seems to be in the memory bank.'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'His debugging skills are exceptional.'

'Mom, I need a push.'

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

Robot Robber

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

"I can't stand this new hardware. It's much harder than the old hardware."

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

AI Summit

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'