Tech Humor Aficionado Gifts

PFI-Pod - doesn't work,

Computer...Computee

Streaming, 2.0

AI Summit

All right, you may tell me about your internet startup idea. It's revolutionary. You know how the only way to tell if you stink is to sniff your armpit? Continue … and you know how embarrassing it is when people you know catch you sniffing your own armpit? Continue ... and you know how apps like "Uber" let you summon total strangers to drive by and provide you a service? Stop right there.

Personnel. You did high-tech work in this railroad job? It was a part-time position --- I was a semi-conductor.

"Do I use Google Maps driving or walking directions?"

"They misspelled his name because the engravers didn't have autocorrect."

'No! Not cell phone! Not TV remote! Human! Human being!'

Man imagining. . .'Return Your Computer To An Earlier Time.'

'Whatever you do, don't push: 'control', 'alt;, 'anvil'.'

I said TRY another location Noel, you KEEP breaking up! - A guy talking to another guy over the phone, and he is breaking up into pieces

Jeff's computer was Low on cache

On and Off Mouse Trap

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"You are still here."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'Mom, I need a push.'

Robot Robber

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"