Technology Humor Enthusiast Gifts

The Internet.

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"It turns out there was a computer error – we weren't made for each other after all."

'I'm seeing something but it's a little blurred. This crystal ball is high def ready, but I don't have a subscription yet...'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"You are still here."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

'Trust me. Those shells have always been wireless.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

STRIP Hambone: Humanoid computers

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'Mom, I need a push.'

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

Robot Robber

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.

"Re-calculating, arrive at your final destination in six...five...four..."

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

21st century Safe Sex - protecting against face-recognition software.

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

AI Summit

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"