It Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"Have you tried switching it off and switching it back on again - or pretending there's absolutely nothing wrong with it?"

"iTunes never remembers my username and password. Such a power move."

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"You are still here."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

'Mom, I need a push.'

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

Robot Robber

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

AI Summit

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'