Tech Parody Aficionado Gifts

Lester Hacks into an Abacus.

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"You are still here."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

A Midwestern Disaster Film.

Giggle.

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'Mom, I need a push.'

Robot Robber

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

AI Summit

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Virtual Lap Dancing

Personnel. You did high-tech work in this railroad job? It was a part-time position --- I was a semi-conductor.

"What - the customer complaints come in nonstop and the software doesn't work? Pheew... I'm relieved. I feared that something unusual happened today."

The Insiders