Tech Satire Enthusiast Gifts

"Somebody tweeted."

Baby Barcode Birthmark

"Appeal for donations: Please donate lots of money to poor man Musk so he can afford Viagra!"

Baby Daddy

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

The cell phone soother for life.

Airport Security.

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Now you can send it."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"You are still here."

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

'for more obit info, go to...'

"Oh no, we've been inned."

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Robot Robber

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

AI Summit

"Hey Alexa, make it nice and easy for hackers to keep tabs on everything I do and influence my voting intentions."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

"Today, charges that Putin hacked Trump's tweets..."

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

iDeasy

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.

Personnel. You did high-tech work in this railroad job? It was a part-time position --- I was a semi-conductor.

You're Employment has been terminated -Smiley face lol