Tech Satire Fan Gifts

God works in mysterious ways.

Stolen Mobiles as New Currency

'Judging by that old fashioned light bulb, your idea must be outdated.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

Pop star weather report.

"Today, charges that Putin hacked Trump's tweets..."

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"In financial news, Greek shares continue their slide. Of note, International Feta Cheese continues to crumble."

Idiot's Guide to Programming a VCR.

iDeasy

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

"What - the customer complaints come in nonstop and the software doesn't work? Pheew... I'm relieved. I feared that something unusual happened today."

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

Lester Hacks into an Abacus.

It's my manifesto on living "off the grid," mainly compiled from my blog, tweets and Facebook posts.

Lies on the Internet

'No thanks. This patch stops me craving for superflous functions.'

"No need to set out traps, I'm leaving. You don't have Wi-Fi in this dump."

"It's part of our company's new health plan. You don't ever have to leave your desk for the virtual colonoscopy..."

'The poor shlubb -- his country still only has dial-up.'

STRIP Hambone: Woman referred to as software

"That's right. A real war with real victims and real casualties. Unfortunately The War of Withering Sarcasm wasn't one of those sexy wars the media likes to report on."

'Floppy Disk Horror Movie.'

"You now fit all mobile devices!"

White Apple

Data at landfill

'If you see a stranger, you kill him -- it's called 'Homeland Security.''

"I just got a text from our smart garage door. It says: Oops, my bad."

'Sir, it appears that most of these phone charges are for roaming.'