Tech Trivia Aficionado Pillows

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Hiding the electronics.

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"You are still here."

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

Book Worm

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Robot Robber

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

AI Summit

Brown only photocopier sales.

"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

'I don't know what it is. I think it's some kind of old-fashioned cell phone.'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.

"What - the customer complaints come in nonstop and the software doesn't work? Pheew... I'm relieved. I feared that something unusual happened today."

"Oh, Johnny. I feel like I'm beginning to know you almost as well as Facebook does!"

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

Telephone Box

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

"By using the accelerated graphics port with the m202 riser we can implement a data trawl without the 8ot network blah,blah cascading through the network..."

'You're insecure because your data is unsecured.'

Lester Hacks into an Abacus.