Tech Trivia Lover Gifts

Brown only photocopier sales.

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"You are still here."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

Data From a Truck

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Giggle.

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

Robot Robber

'Invasion of privacy.'

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

AI Summit

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

'I don't know what it is. I think it's some kind of old-fashioned cell phone.'

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

"What happens if you get the headphones in the wrong ear?"

Personnel. You did high-tech work in this railroad job? It was a part-time position --- I was a semi-conductor.

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.

"Oh, Johnny. I feel like I'm beginning to know you almost as well as Facebook does!"

"What - the customer complaints come in nonstop and the software doesn't work? Pheew... I'm relieved. I feared that something unusual happened today."