Tech Joke Lover Gifts

"I tell you, he's up to no good. He spends hours on the dark web."

The continent you have requested cannot be found.

STRIP Hambone: Magnets and hard disks

'I can't do my homework - the computer's down.'

"So you are the data protection supervisor of the German government?"

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Talk nerdy to me."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"You are still here."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"I think you should hire me for my vast software knowledge. . . and then pay for me to go learn software."

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

'The problem seems to be in the memory bank.'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

"He's been using the new virtual reality data viewer and climbing bar graphs..."

'Mom, I need a push.'

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

Robot Robber

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

AI Summit

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

"Come on, dear...you can't blame everything on Russian hackers."

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.