Tech Joke Fans Gifts

'A guy on the phone says he's stolen your identity, but thinks you and him might get on, do you want to go for a pint with him?'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

'Mom, I need a push.'

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"Zoom says we have connectivity issues..."

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

'Hey Bob, this trampoline doesn't seem to work...'

Virtual Lap Dancing

"So you are the data protection supervisor of the German government?"

Idiot's Guide to Programming a VCR.

"What - the customer complaints come in nonstop and the software doesn't work? Pheew... I'm relieved. I feared that something unusual happened today."

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

STRIP Hambone: Using Tippex on a monitor

"These EHR formats are an indecipherable headache to try and wade through. I miss the old days when the doctor's writing was all we had to figure out."

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

Witch uses broom from broom share program.

'Don't disturb your father when he's in stand-by mode.'

"We programmed it to behave exactly like a human... it never stops complaining."

"You've got to compress it because my email account is limited to 3MB."

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

'The number 1 dinner is available in an updated version 1.1.'

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

"No, it isn't a mobile. It's my pipe."

Instead of that CD, how about feeding me a nice bagel for a change?

"Maybe it's just playing dead."

"This tone means the battery is low. This one means you've just driven over a pedestrian. And this one indicates that someone sitting near you in a coffee shop is about to grab your phone and stuff it down your throat!"