Tech Transient Gifts

Behold The Horror Of... The Ringing Landline

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

Second lifeReal life.

"My Blackberry will get in touch with your Blackberry."

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

The whole family can't wrench a teen away from his computer.

Nothing is Lost Everything is Transformed.

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

"See? Two seconds with my quantum physics app."

Haven't Rented a Game in 2 Weeks.

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

Person talks on phone as other blogs.

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

'It seems that their databank has all the information that's in our databank, plus information that's not in our databank, plus information about our databank.'

"Damn, I forgot to create the 'control-Z' command."

Computers. Tablets. Laptops. The model is entirely voice-activated. I've always wanted to tell a computer "off."

"This is where I keep my entire music collection."

"Have you tried turning it off and on?"

"You probably don't need to write 'sorry for the delayed reply' every time, Natasha."

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

"This is the future of logistics. Thanks to our new technology this parcel can miss-send itself to somewhere in Kazakhstan."

Virtual chicken crossing the road.

"Ooh, this looks nice. Would you like to go for a scroll?"

'My website? Oh, it was a bit of a one hit wonder.'

"My computer still won't work. It must still hold a grudge from when I punched it in frustration."

'Roll on the stoneless office.'

"The next song was inspired by thousands of other songs."

'Michelle, this is your brother, Paul, do you copy? Over...Paul to Michelle, do you read me?...'