Tech-savvy Voter Pillows

"My opponent hasn't answer one of my emails."

'Hi! -- I'm a pig in a poke, and I'm running for President!'

'Mud!? is that the 'decision 2012' app'.

"Did you get my tweet?"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

The Re-Opening of Schools

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

God's Phone

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

'...till death, or a really huge argument over ringtones, do you part.'

Rumours Online

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"Our latest technological leap allowed us to automate our full operation, become carbon-neutral, and keep all our employees."

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

'The computer is down... you'll have to wait for your hate mail.'

"My son, using 'Reply All' is not a sin."

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

My fitness tracker said I was dead but I thought I'd better get a second opinion

'Do you ever communicate as a family by just speaking?'

"Let me see if I can get Him on speakerphone."

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

'Did you click and send the contents of 'Irving' into the world wide web of humiliation?'

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

"Yes, I did say I wanted a TV mounted on the wall. But, I was referring to a new, light flat screen."

'I suppose it's just one of those things.'

"When you're done here can you look at my laptop?"

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

Schwarzenegger flexes muscle for Californain Governor's race.

Narcissus 2020

"In the olden days, these things were used to store your contact details."

'Well, he's back from tech support.'

Jesus Saves

"Find out how Trump doesn't pay any taxes, and see if it can be done on my return."

'I know junk e-mail is everywhere but spam on toast?'

Emmanuel Macron