Tech-savvy Believer Pillows

'Does 'Amen' mean 'Send'?'

God's Phone

Priest prays to phone.

'Well, he's back from tech support.'

"Let us select the fire folder, double-click the brimstone icon, and begin."

"Let me see if I can get Him on speakerphone."

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

"Let us bow our heads, turn off our cell phones, and pray."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"Textin’"

"Did you get my tweet?"

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'And the best thing about this electric thermal underwear is, no batteries, it's solar!'

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

'Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?'

"Are our prayers answered whether we have an iphone or an android?"

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

Rumours Online

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

Follow God On Twitter

The Thinker (with a laptop).

"Our latest technological leap allowed us to automate our full operation, become carbon-neutral, and keep all our employees."

'The computer is down... you'll have to wait for your hate mail.'

"Buy my data $20"

Websiteless -- please help.

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Rodin's 'The Computer.'

"Christmas pudcast"

'Trust you, Filkins, to harp on the ONE TINY FLAW in the online global infrastructure.' (Technology dependent on electricty)

"Damn, I forgot to create the 'control-Z' command."

My fitness tracker said I was dead but I thought I'd better get a second opinion