Tech-savvy Saint Pillows

"I'm going to need the promotion code."

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

Sat Nativ.

"I don't need a book that records people's good and evil deeds. Nowadays I just check social media accounts."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

"I'm going on a retreat."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Electric powered sleigh with wrong fitting.

Follow God On Twitter

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his internet provider?'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

'I'd still be in a luxurious office instead of a smelly cave if I really knew the secret of keeping customers.'

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

Palm Top Readings

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."