Tech-savvy Saint T-Shirts

"I'm going to need the promotion code."

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

Sat Nativ.

"I don't need a book that records people's good and evil deeds. Nowadays I just check social media accounts."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

"I'm going on a retreat."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Electric powered sleigh with wrong fitting.

Follow God On Twitter

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his internet provider?'

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

'I'd still be in a luxurious office instead of a smelly cave if I really knew the secret of keeping customers.'

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."