Tech-savvy Prayer Pillows

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

"He didn't mean on Twitter."

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

Holy phone

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

"I'm having trouble in computer class, Sir. Please send tech support."

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

'I back up my files religiously. I pray nothing happens to them.'

'When pastors take sports analogies too far...'

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

'It will be nice to have the words of my sermon there but it could be distracting to run football scores ... '

Jesus Saves

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'

"I've never seen the congregation praying this hard."

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

The pastor forgot to remove his wireless mic before entering the baptismal."

'New Charismatic'