Tech-savvy Prayer Prints

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

Holy phone

"He didn't mean on Twitter."

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

"I'm having trouble in computer class, Sir. Please send tech support."

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

'I back up my files religiously. I pray nothing happens to them.'

'When pastors take sports analogies too far...'

'It will be nice to have the words of my sermon there but it could be distracting to run football scores ... '

Jesus Saves

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'

Prpr 2 Skype thy Mkr.

'He googles you. That's how God knows everything about you.'

'Click on the icon.'

'New Charismatic'

The pastor forgot to remove his wireless mic before entering the baptismal."