Tech Paradox Lover Gifts

"Is that your beeper or my beeper?"

Please help! Grateful for spare change... Will accept Venmo and bitcoin.

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

"Why is it every time I need to go somewhere, the driverless car is taking itself for a spin?"

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

The Meaning of Life

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

'You're not fooling anybody but yourself.'

'That's strange -- there seems to be a pop-tart in your disk drive.'

"We don't share your information with anyone. Plus, nobody listens to us anyway."

"I move for less transparency."

Amish personal mobility scooter

'The last thing he said was 'I'm going to go look up the work 'Dictionary' in the dictionary,' and then the universe kind of collapsed around him,'

Right Against Right.

Grenadiers

'It's never done that before!'

"We have ways of making you say yes, but I want you to want to say yes."

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

Zeno Gives Directions

"It's only a matter of time before we realize that time doesn't exist."

Wanderer dropping phone above the sea of fog

'The doctor told me to get away for a while..Where I live, in the country, it's just too quiet for me, so I've come here for a vacation.'

The City that Never Sleeps.

National Paradox Foundation: We're closed come in.

Fastest slowest animal

'I know one never knows, but I don't know how one knows that.'