Tech Irony Lover Gifts

"Why is it every time I need to go somewhere, the driverless car is taking itself for a spin?"

"We don't share your information with anyone. Plus, nobody listens to us anyway."

Social Media

"Well, this is the moment we've been waiting for - the hacker who stole our identities just got hacked by another hacker who thought he was hacking us."

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Everything will look perfectly flat...in your Realtek 2D glasses.

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

'The NHS is committed to patients having control over their care...So if you'd like to check your symptoms online I'll be back later for a diagnosis and careplan.'

"He was much more effective in the field."

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

"... Or, if you're tired of listening to all of these automated options and would like to cancel your call, press 9."

It's my manifesto on living "off the grid," mainly compiled from my blog, tweets and Facebook posts.

'Try rebooting.'

Spam on the Menu at Internet Cafe.

Amish personal mobility scooter

"If your internet doesn't work, please check our online help chat...if your internet doesn't work..."

"You can just leave it on that crag, thanks."

"We're tolerably self sufficient. Alistair, for example, makes all our own petrol."

Canadian Visa Application

"Didn't you know? We just drive around. This is a mobile toxic-wast dump."

Scandal about listening on Facebook

Manual automation in the office.

Chemoco International

'There's a guy out here who wants to kill the messenger.'

Twitter (parody) ... of its former self

'Apparently the software has been bullying him.'

"I have an app that gives me points for looking up from my phone."

"Every time I say this computer is supposed to be 'user friendly', it lets out an evil laugh."

'Good news! Some guy stole my identity online. Now he's saddled with my bad credit rating.'

Baby Daddy

Accident free button gives an electric shock.