Tech Ironic Gifts

Canadian Visa Application

"Talk nerdy to me."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"Why is it every time I need to go somewhere, the driverless car is taking itself for a spin?"

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

"He was much more effective in the field."

"He's been using the new virtual reality data viewer and climbing bar graphs..."

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

Peep-A-Boo Spyware: 'Your Privacy is Our Eminent Domain!'

"We don't share your information with anyone. Plus, nobody listens to us anyway."

I hate getting ready for Y1K.

"Bloody GPS-plotter is going silly again!"

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

'My backup special...'

"... Or, if you're tired of listening to all of these automated options and would like to cancel your call, press 9."

"Hey, it's the scouting virus! It doesn't affect your pc, it just makes you want to go camping!"

And for a mere £49.99 you can make it fully portable, sir.

'Every time I step on the scale Alexa uses my weight for the joke of the day.'

"You can just leave it on that crag, thanks."

"If I get this phone completed, fire will follow."

"Your computer is fine. It's your brain that has a lot of useless programs on it. Unfortunately, it doesn't come with an uninstall button."

America's Funniest Encrypted Passwords

"Look mate, I keep rebooting and nothing happens!!"

"The truth, the whole truth...so help me, Mr Gates"

Scandal about listening on Facebook

"He was gold prospecting, but since he dropped his phone in the water, he's now phone prospecting."

"Just need to check on my smart kitchen appliances - they tend to throw dinner parties when I'm not there."

Manual automation in the office.

'I wanted to send an email to the IT tech telling him about the faulty software, but I can't do it because of the faulty software.'

Twitter (parody) ... of its former self