Technology Irony Supporter Gifts

"You can just leave it on that crag, thanks."

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"Why is it every time I need to go somewhere, the driverless car is taking itself for a spin?"

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

'The NHS is committed to patients having control over their care...So if you'd like to check your symptoms online I'll be back later for a diagnosis and careplan.'

"He was much more effective in the field."

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

'No doubt about it we're really lost!...Even GPS says it can't help!'

"We don't share your information with anyone. Plus, nobody listens to us anyway."

"... Or, if you're tired of listening to all of these automated options and would like to cancel your call, press 9."

It's my manifesto on living "off the grid," mainly compiled from my blog, tweets and Facebook posts.

Everything will look perfectly flat...in your Realtek 2D glasses.

'Try rebooting.'

Spam on the Menu at Internet Cafe.

"If your internet doesn't work, please check our online help chat...if your internet doesn't work..."

Amish personal mobility scooter

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

"If I get this phone completed, fire will follow."

"You should have been here last week. This is clean coal."

Canadian Visa Application

Scandal about listening on Facebook

Manual automation in the office.

Early mobile phone laws

Klutz Refinery, Unauthorized Personnel Only

'There's a guy out here who wants to kill the messenger.'

"I have an app that gives me points for looking up from my phone."

Twitter (parody) ... of its former self

"Every time I say this computer is supposed to be 'user friendly', it lets out an evil laugh."

'When the computer senses that you are in a hurry, it automatically slows down.'

Nigel's new 'smart' doorbell didn't live up to expectations...

The Out of Order Love Machine.

Ecological Mortar

www.hopeless-assassin.com. Hits 0.

"Well, this is the moment we've been waiting for - the hacker who stole our identities just got hacked by another hacker who thought he was hacking us."