Paradoxical Techie Gifts

"Try this...go to your contacts, select, slide left, delete."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

The Googler

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

If Disney was a software company

A man looking askance at a child on a tank-like skateboard

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

Astrology meets computer science. You think all computers are gemine? Yeah, they're born under a binary system.

"I've been feeling healthier since I attached my fitbit to the collar of my neighbor's terrier."

Snake with headphones.

"I love these fitness bracelets! it's like having a tamagotchi, but the tamagotchi is you."

"This one comes with a special undo function for erasing any stupid thing you've done or said in your entire life. It doesn't really work, of course, but it's SUPER fun to play with!"

"I thought the 'Internet of Things' was about fridges and toasters!"

Peep-A-Boo Spyware: 'Your Privacy is Our Eminent Domain!'

'This spreadsheet program has really been enhanced since I installed the Ouija board.'

'I think I've found what's causing a funny sound in your hard drive.'

I think that computer might be giving out a little too much heat... Energy efficient IT systems.

"I wrote it, dear...the Great American Password."

Ogle Earth

'Ignore the purple stain - that's just my Blackberry going off.'

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my prayers now!"

Reminder from my Telebartender. Gotta go!

Smartphone and Smart Arse Phone.

Canadian Visa Application

'Will you be able to shrink their heads with just broad band connection?'

"Thanks for the keyboard, grandma. But it's not the type I'm in need of."

"Is that your beeper or my beeper?"

The Kindle was first used used by Santa to keep track of the lists of naughty and nice children, and was originally called the Cringle.

Wanderer dropping phone above the sea of fog

"High tech genies?"

The Grazer App

Tough employee uses computer rat instead of mouse.

Easy TV Repair

Buffering crystal ball.