Lover Of Paradoxes Gifts

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

Zeno Gives Directions

"We've come a long way since the me-and-now society."

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Barrister asking a witness to produce burnt papers

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'

The Meaning of Life

New Capitalism

'You're not fooling anybody but yourself.'

Decisions: Yes or No, 'Or maybe?'

"Graph A is verified by Graph B. Graph B is verified by Graph C. Graph C is verified by Graph A. So you see...it's all verified."

'The last thing he said was 'I'm going to go look up the work 'Dictionary' in the dictionary,' and then the universe kind of collapsed around him,'

Right Against Right.

"We have ways of making you say yes, but I want you to want to say yes."

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

"What beats me is how you global warming sceptics always turn out to believe in local warming."

Grenadiers

Moses with the Ten Commandments on a Ski Lift

'The doctor told me to get away for a while..Where I live, in the country, it's just too quiet for me, so I've come here for a vacation.'

"Is that your beeper or my beeper?"

The City that Never Sleeps.

National Paradox Foundation: We're closed come in.

Worker is confused at the Paradox Parcel Company.

Fastest slowest animal

"She sleeps outdoors a lot for someone who refuses to go camping."

'I know one never knows, but I don't know how one knows that.'

'National Public Television now presents 'Monday Night Chess'!'

'Have you read about the millionaire who dresses like a hobo and gives money to those who are kind to him?'

'Making these snacks low-fat was great because substituting sweetener for fat made them even more addictive.'

'I'm afraid you're a hypochondriac Mr Jenkins... but luckily we have a pill for that!'

"No, yours is more useful, believe me."

"I want you to enhance long term growth while maximising short term profit. Oh, and while you're at it, turn this chunk of lead into gold."