Lover Of Contradictions Gifts

Worker is confused at the Paradox Parcel Company.

'Have you read about the millionaire who dresses like a hobo and gives money to those who are kind to him?'

"This is a side of Manhattan you don't often see."

'Your place or mine?'

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

A boy who loves cows/burgers

Basically, you should think outside the box, but don't color outside the lines!

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

'Both were written this year by the same author.'

"No aliens"

The Meaning of Life

"I just completely disagree with what you just said about America lacking focus."

Snowman dreaming of surfing.

Decisions: Yes or No, 'Or maybe?'

'I will only need to talk to you in order to contradict what you've said.'

"Graph A is verified by Graph B. Graph B is verified by Graph C. Graph C is verified by Graph A. So you see...it's all verified."

'But what if you're a masochist...?'

A monk watches TV in his zen garden.

Woman sunbathing on snowy balcony under sunlamp.

You can't go back.

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

'I want a 'green' car colored red that keeps me in the black.'

Zeno Gives Directions

Big dog little man.

Sex and Violence....Hell and Brimstone.

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"

Which Brain is Half Full and Which is Half Empty?

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

Clancy: Good Idea

'He could never resist taking an opposing position on an old saying...'

'Rodney, I don't know what to make of you. You're bored by excitement, and excited by boredom.'

"I feel an intense pride, Robert, that I live in a country rich enough to have war and peace at the same time."

"You not only have multiple personalities, but worse - They have a clashing sense of style."

'Traitor! I hate you!'

"Let's face it: Life can be life threatening."