Comical Contradiction Lovers Gifts

'Traitor! I hate you!'

"This is a side of Manhattan you don't often see."

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

"Wow, these are great cartoons! We have to let them go, and anyway, cartoonists are on the endangered species list..."

'Both were written this year by the same author.'

"No aliens"

"Just junk mail."

'I will only need to talk to you in order to contradict what you've said.'

A monk watches TV in his zen garden.

Woman sunbathing on snowy balcony under sunlamp.

Scuba Skater

"The cod's off, but you can have whale and chips."

'I want a 'green' car colored red that keeps me in the black.'

Woman says treadmill reminds her of her life.

"Being vague and general?" "No, that's the first law of psychics, I want the law of phsics."

Clancy: Good Idea

Bad vibes next 3 miles.

'Rodney, I don't know what to make of you. You're bored by excitement, and excited by boredom.'

'The tracks are getting fresher. He's close by.'

Worker is confused at the Paradox Parcel Company.

The Grim Reefer: 'DUDE,that was,like,your last puff,MAN.'

'Have you read about the millionaire who dresses like a hobo and gives money to those who are kind to him?'

"I feel an intense pride, Robert, that I live in a country rich enough to have war and peace at the same time."

"You not only have multiple personalities, but worse - They have a clashing sense of style."

"Let's face it: Life can be life threatening."

"People shouldn't have names until they're 30."

"I'm trying to eat healthy. Where do you keep the organic donuts?"

Erractic Review

"Do you keep stationery here?"

'No thanks, I'm trying to cut down on meat products.'

"How can it be an 'Act of God'? Your policy states you're an atheist."

'We'll get by with some money I've saved, my part time job, and my payments as an F.B.I. informer...'

"I aspire to greatness, but I don't really feel like doing anything about it..."