Contradiction Lovers Gifts

'No thanks, I'm trying to cut down on meat products.'

"Let's face it: Life can be life threatening."

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"We'll destroy it to the ground ... ...and then..."

"I hate it when we fight."

"This is a side of Manhattan you don't often see."

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

Look At Me I'm Still Wearing Shorts.

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

'Both were written this year by the same author.'

"No aliens"

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

"Just junk mail."

Gym/Tan/Donut

'I will only need to talk to you in order to contradict what you've said.'

'With every 'Ying' there's a 'Yang'!'

Oxymorons

A monk watches TV in his zen garden.

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

Woman sunbathing on snowy balcony under sunlamp.

'Always tell the truth, even if you do have to lie to do it.'

"Is your dog going to rip our heads off … I mean, friendly?"

'The fact is, we can't seem to agree about ANYTHING!' 'Rubbish!'

'You are a credit to the human race, Yardsley. Unfortunately, you're a liability to this firm.'

'I think I'm cured. I now forgive my parents, love my wife, adore my children and hate you.'

"My door is always open, Truscot, so don't go near it!"

'I want a 'green' car colored red that keeps me in the black.'

Clancy: Good Idea

'Rodney, I don't know what to make of you. You're bored by excitement, and excited by boredom.'

Cowboys in a saloon gather around a Georgia O'Keefe painting.

Worker is confused at the Paradox Parcel Company.

Angel/Devil.