Contradiction Enthusiast Gifts

"I'm one of those vegetarians who eat meat."

'You're in -- All you have to do is pay your dues and sign this loyalty oath.'

"No aliens"

"I feel an intense pride, Robert, that I live in a country rich enough to have war and peace at the same time."

"I aspire to greatness, but I don't really feel like doing anything about it..."

'Rodney, I don't know what to make of you. You're bored by excitement, and excited by boredom.'

'We'll get by with some money I've saved, my part time job, and my payments as an F.B.I. informer...'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"I hate it when we fight."

"This is a side of Manhattan you don't often see."

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

USA in Pakistan: I'm the sheriff and I shot my deputy...

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

"Say what you will about Donald Trump, he's one helluva negotiator."

'The following program contains original ideas of an educational nature and may not be suitable for all viewers. Discretion is advised.'

'The controversy builds, as we gather more half-arsed comments to dress up as considered public opinion!'

"Just junk mail."

Gym/Tan/Donut

'It just happens that all my heroes are anti-heroes.'

"Our only hope is that the book gets banned."

'With every 'Ying' there's a 'Yang'!'

Oxymorons

'I think I'll write it up for 'The Journal of Controversial Research'.'

'I will only need to talk to you in order to contradict what you've said.'

A monk watches TV in his zen garden.

Woman sunbathing on snowy balcony under sunlamp.

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Always tell the truth, even if you do have to lie to do it.'

"On the other hand, he's really good on infrastructure and tax reform."

"My door is always open, Truscot, so don't go near it!"

Save the Smallpox Virus t-shirt slogan

'You are a credit to the human race, Yardsley. Unfortunately, you're a liability to this firm.'

'I think I'm cured. I now forgive my parents, love my wife, adore my children and hate you.'