Tech Detractor Gifts

"Everyone's complaining about the food, the orders are all mixed up...what's going on back here, anyway?"

"My email is down... talk to me."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

“Someone is not muted. I'm still hearing ambient noise. Please mute your device.”

"Careful! He knows computers."

"AI chat bot"

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

Modern Life Blues

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

Social media and censorship...

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

Domestic Spying Drones

It was her last day so Mary decided to find out something that had bugged her for years: what the button with the skull & crossbones was for.

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

"Mrs. Beetle, Marty's screen is frozen, again."

"No, not that button!"

"Tarzan no want computer."

'Sir, I've got a computer to avoid a giant mess but unfortunately I can't find the computer in this giant mess!'

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

'What's PPI and how did you get this number?'

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"Frank, I need your help. The computers are down, but I was told you know how to multiply two numbers together."

"Don't embarrass me again, spell-checker."