Anti-tech Advocate Gifts

The Luddite Society

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Mobile Bans

'She is not Amish, we just wont buy her a cell phone.'

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

Domestic Spying Drones

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

"Tarzan no want computer."

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

If They See Something, They Do Something — To You

"Somewhere along the line the world got a whole lot dorkier."

Why god isn't listening...

The Ungooglable Man

This way to Utopia. . . No cell or wifi reception here.

Although I loathe you with a passion, I've decided to put you in my will. I'm rich! On one condition. Name it. Your inheritance cannot be spent on anything that blinks, beeps, buzzes, charges, flashes … boots up, plugs in, takes batteries … Whoa, hold up … emails, downloads, texts, web-surfs, or in any way prevents you from getting out in the world and interacting in person with other human beings. It can't be spent on any of that nonsense … but … Yes? … But it does have to be walked twice a day

"Anywhere that doesn't have TVs, computers, radios, ipods, cell phones, or video games."

Analog Alzheimer - Digital Dementia

Red indians kept in touch with home without the aid of mobile phones.

Man in cell phone shop - 'Do you have a phone that just phones?'

Enjoy our cell phone free ambience.

"It's a book, dear. It doesn't need any batteries."

'Let a computer answer it.'

Are you ever worried people will see all the stuff you put online? Not at all … because I don't put anything online. I'm not on Facebook, I'm not on Twitter, and I conduct all my business in person so they can be charmed by the twinkle in my mustache. You are looking at a man who's totally off the grid, little buddy. It's like talking to a Neanderthal. I also shave with a razor-sharp sliver of granite my grandfather bequeathed unto me.

Ye Olde Book Shoppe

I came up here because I got tired of being targeted by advertisers.

"Just sitting here waiting for Facebook to go away."

Prisoner of technology.

"The city provides larger mailboxes to accommodate all the junk mail we get. How about just getting rid of the junk mail companies?"

'He won't email, text or tweet. He's so inaccessible!'

"Well I preferred analogue - still, it's 3:30 - better be going!"

'The wheel is obsolete. This is a hex nut.'

Stupid telemarketers

"You're a bad Silicon Valley CEO, are't you? You need to be regulated, don't you."

'Bob's served the company as man and boy, and as cantankerous old moaner who doesn't understand IT.'