Anti-tech Warrior Gifts

"Just sitting here waiting for Facebook to go away."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

"I'm worried about little Gwendoline. She's ignoring her phone and thinking on her own!"

Cyberwarfare

"It's a really cool game! You're Bill Gates, and you have to fight off the evil agents of the Justice Department before they destroy your planet."

"Got some bad news for you, Larry."

"I want to get in touch with my inner child. I need the tech support."

The Ungooglable Man

Wringing the Monitor

"Sorry, I double-booked. This wouldn't happen if I had a computer - but they insist we do everything by hand."

"I'll be walking by your door in a second if you want to try to get my attention."

"Pull over and check your phone" "Once more for good luck" "Maybe just another teensy look"

Stressed Office Junior

Capitalism is a Form of Totalitarianism

'Your reign of terror is over evil dragon, for I have slain your internet service provider!'

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

Bruce Lee with dangerous mouse.

Information War

'Don't get smart with me!'

'Nothing to worry about, Dear, just a little accident on the information superhighway.'

Man in cell phone shop - 'Do you have a phone that just phones?'

"Please help. Never learned PowerPoint."

Viruses on mobile phones.

Junk food...

Are you ever worried people will see all the stuff you put online? Not at all … because I don't put anything online. I'm not on Facebook, I'm not on Twitter, and I conduct all my business in person so they can be charmed by the twinkle in my mustache. You are looking at a man who's totally off the grid, little buddy. It's like talking to a Neanderthal. I also shave with a razor-sharp sliver of granite my grandfather bequeathed unto me.

Ye Olde Book Shoppe

Tarzan fights mouse.

'I'd like to lease with an option to pulverize.'

'Of course, you're probably concerned with mileage and the high gas prices. . .'

'The virus is that bad, huh?'

Twelve-step verification