Tech-conflicted Gifts

Curse my hooves, and predictive text!

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Hey! Get back here!"

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

'I thought I was being technologically savvy but now I realize Twittering, Googling and Yahoo make me sound like an idiot.'

Computers. Tablets. Laptops. The model is entirely voice-activated. I've always wanted to tell a computer "off."

"Woke up this morning, forgot my apple id..."

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

"Bloody GPS-plotter is going silly again!"

"Judging by all the hair you've pulled out of your head, I must be hard to teach technology to than I thought."

STRIP Hambone: To old to work computers

Love Hate Computer Relationship

'It's never done that before!'

I hate blind carbon copies when the computers are down.

"They call it the Cloud. No wonder I Can't find anything in it."

'I can't even remember what I had for breakfast. How do you expect me to remember another bloody password!?'

"Aw geez. I can't unlock my phone." "That's the TV remote. And we're out of Chardonnay."

My car is running great, but the GPS is busted. You can go nowhere fast!

'How could Plato write The Republic with a quill pen on parchment when I can't write a memo with a deluxe computer?'

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

'I must get an instruction book for this phone...that's the fifth time this week I've taken a photograph of my right ear.'

(Dart! ….. I pressed the button for instructions in Spanish!)

"Every time I say this computer is supposed to be 'user friendly', it lets out an evil laugh."

'What the heck is a USB Port?!' Suddenly it was Jeff Foxworthy who wasn't smarter than a fifth grader.

"I asked our tech support to escalate me to the next level...they transferred me to a suicide hotline!"

'Michael, go in there and help your father before he throws another tantrum.'

'My computers down again!'

"Sorry to bother you but I can't ask my son for computer help while he's in a in time out."

"Your dad doesn't want to see or hear any comments on his social media page. Please explain to him how to turn them off."

The Epstein family hadn't quite mastered the art of the zoom screenshot.

"Mrs. HIggins, which button do I push to make a smiley face?"

'His pacemaker keeps opening and shutting the garage door.'

Internet Shopping Check Boxes

I see you. I deny everything. You're using a computer. You are mistaken. It's natural to publicly despise and condemn that which we are ashamed to secretly love. I'M OLD! I THOUGHT IT WAS THE TELEVISION! You don

"I sure hope we can sign up for health care before we die of natural causes."