Tease Master Gifts

Do you think Ryan Beardsley would like me more if I highlighted my hair? Maybe -

'Oh stop it, oh you are a tease.' 'Henry's back is playing up again.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

Tartar sauce.

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

"It's a setup."

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"Very funny."

Banana striptease...

"Oh my, you're a dirty little weasel, aren't you darling?!"

Hit Me

Come to bed, Snookums. In a minute. Are you still playing Scrabble? And flaming my opponents. I just crushed an eight-year-old by 100 points and then told him his parents don't love him because he's illiterate! How nice you've found a hobby. I feel so nurtured.

A Dummy Corporation.

Your brother's just teasing you, dear - I'm sure he didn't lick every one of them.

Slow, merge left, resume speed, stop, stay, sit, roll over, good boy!

I got you a 20th anniversary present. An iPhone charger? An actual, real gift? What's the catch? House of Java Cybercafe. No catch. For the last 20 years, you've been the best whipping boy I've ever had. You're a complete tool of the technology industry. You've been a real pleasure to mock. In fact, the last 20 years of making fun of your pathetic life has made this two rewarding decades. Plug back in, whipping boy! I will outlast you, smelly old bat!

'Dad... He's still making faces at me!'

'Hey Goldie, the house is on fire!' 'Wow, I just found out the world is round!' 'I hear they're gonna make gloves out of you.'

"If I had a million dollars, I'd buy myself a new car, a new house for Dad and new clothes for Tia Carmen!"

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

'My dad says I'm good at training little animals - Sit, boy!'

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."

'My client was goaded into committing the crime, Your Honor -- he pleads not guilty by reason of teasin'.'

Really tall guy with a 'Kick Me' sign attached.

Of the seven, which dwarf do you identify with?

Jeffrey's Time Machine: 'This is why I hate talking to Geeky science boys!!'

"Gracie, no matter how smart-pants you are...I still love you."

Teddy Tree is trying out for lacrosse. LOL! No way! That spazoid nerd? Hey! No one disses my little brother! Ok. Ok! Sorry! That's my job.

"That's not what I meant when I asked you to put him down. Now you've gone and hurt his feelings."

"Did we switch everything off before we left?"

'Better ease up on the goodnatured barbs...'

'It's a shame really, he used to have his leg pulled a lot when he was a boy.'