Tease Meister Gifts

'As a baby you were so ugly Mum didn't push your pram. She pulled it.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

Man has a seatbelt and 'calm down tablets' to watch the world news.

'This potion will get you promoted but I can't guarantee a bonus.'

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"Very funny."

Banana striptease...

"Oh my, you're a dirty little weasel, aren't you darling?!"

Hit Me

A Dummy Corporation.

'Dad... He's still making faces at me!'

"If I had a million dollars, I'd buy myself a new car, a new house for Dad and new clothes for Tia Carmen!"

'Hey Goldie, the house is on fire!' 'Wow, I just found out the world is round!' 'I hear they're gonna make gloves out of you.'

Really tall guy with a 'Kick Me' sign attached.

'My dad says I'm good at training little animals - Sit, boy!'

'My client was goaded into committing the crime, Your Honor -- he pleads not guilty by reason of teasin'.'

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

I've got the latest geezer-jargon translator app.

Of the seven, which dwarf do you identify with?

"Once again, the answer is no."

"Did we switch everything off before we left?"

Singing

"I assure you that you don't have Alzheimer's because you paid my fee last week."

"Gracie, no matter how smart-pants you are...I still love you."

Jeffrey's Time Machine: 'This is why I hate talking to Geeky science boys!!'

'Better ease up on the goodnatured barbs...'

'It's a shame really, he used to have his leg pulled a lot when he was a boy.'