Team Meetings Gifts

"Okay, if that's all the finger pointing we have today, we can move on!"

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

"Note to team: set your sights higher when formulating the mission statement."

Meeting. 'Meh.'

'Benson will you stop trying to dominate the meeting.'

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

"And if I don't see a turnaround soon, I'll be forced to use my outdoor voice."

'All in favor for taking credit for this stuff?'

Man kills co-worker with pointer. Boss says, 'I'm afraid you'll never get ahead if you can't learn to share the pointer!'

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

'How many times do I need to remind you, Caldwell, that you need to do something about your attention deficit disorder?!'

"Another meeting?"

'Can you come in for a minute, Marjorie -we need you to kickstart our brainstorming session.'

"Jim, I was asking for a simple explanation, not exclamation."

Team Meeting

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The meeting will come to order."

Support Group for a Good Problem

Group Think Time

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

"My preferred pronoun is they."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

"...And that's how to translate honey into money."

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'Come on, come on, let's work together!'