Team Meeting Gifts

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'I'll start with the weekly progress report. Ms. London, on my right, will act as acronym and jargon translator.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'Come on, come on, let's work together!'

'Communication within the company is really bad according to this report.'

With a great team behind you, you can achieve so much more...

"The meeting will come to order."

'As part of the company's spirit of openness, I've decided to tell you all a little about the real me.'

'When I said I wanted you to 'Champion' customer care Colin, I was thinking more of you chairing some strategy meetings!'

'We're a democracy here, as long as everyone votes in favour of what I want!'

Lessons learned: 'Relax, smile, attack.'

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

Workaholics Anonymous - Hourly General Meeting

Our Productivity Plan: More Coffee

"Before we review our plans for the next quarter, I thought you all may want to keep in mind a little advice from my advisory panel."

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Oxygen masks. When a meeting gets so boring as to be life-threatening, they automatically drop down!"

"Sorry, Thompson. No temps on the corporate huddle."

Pie Charts.

Your supervisor says you have been giving 100 every week, but at the rate of 20 a day.

We achieve more if we pull together!

'Are we us or them?'

'See, this isn't so hard ... now who wants to be the team mascot?'

'Can you come in for a minute, Marjorie -we need you to kickstart our brainstorming session.'

"My preferred pronoun is they."

"Sorry, sir. I thought it was a zoom meeting."

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

I can't believe we scheduled a battle on casual Friday.

"Sorry, but I didn't switch from unsanitary handshakes to fist bumps just to start group hugging!"

"Some people at work think you're a little to aggressive and intimidating."

"We need to have a meeting because I have the doughnuts."

Want to listen to some Heavy Metal?

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

With the exception of the cold coffee and poor selection of donuts, I think the meeting went well.

'If you carry a big enough stick you don't have to worry about treading softly.'